The Never Ending Saga of COVID...I had it...and how it changed me...

     Time stands still as if we were in a vacuum, and then when you escape the vacuum and look back it is hard to believe how much time in fact has passed. I haven’t blogged in quite some time due to the fact that I was trapped in the “COVID vacuum.”  After we survived Clay having COVID in October and survived our first Thanksgiving without my dad, we were hit again. December 6^th, I had a headache and bone tired. Monday, December 7^th, I stayed home from work at school and went to get tested. My results for covid-19 were positive. And so, began my quarantine.

I still cannot pinpoint exactly where I picked up the virus. I can tell you it is not anything to mess around with. I would consider myself an active healthy middle-aged person. I never feared contracting the illness. However, I was incredibly careful of those around me and did try my best to follow all the proper protocols. I am around a limited number of students at school, staff, and students I tutor outside of school. However, I try and keep our “bubble” as tight as possible. We have tried to limit the friends we have contact with and the kids have also respected the “bubble.” Following the guidelines has been something I felt necessary to keep those around me safe and comfortable. Thankfully, I was not hospitalized during my experience with COVID. However, it was not the mild case Clay experienced. On the 6^th my world literally stopped. I slept the day away. Monday my symptoms became more severe, fever, headache, body aches, tremendous fatigue. I literally fell asleep in the parking lot while waiting for my rapid test results. The PA came to the car and lightly tapped on the window, and then tried a heavier knock to rouse me. We laughed and talked about how I looked like a positive case.

Initially, when I tested positive, I was devastated. I did not want to take off work. December is a challenging month for teachers and students. Kid’s get so amped up before Christmas. I felt like I was letting my students and the teachers I worked with down. I also did not want my kids or Todd to contract it. I worried about getting everything done. I worried about kbFAWN and my Etsy orders. I thought about everything aside from taking care of myself. I quickly realized everything was out of my control and I needed to focus on getting myself healthy. Hydrate, sleep and force myself to eat. Shower when I had the strength…it was 7 full days of hell. Clay’s birthday was on the 12^th. Looking back, it was a blur. I mustered up the energy to celebrate the best I could, while still trying to keep everyone else from being exposed.  I socially distanced myself, and we shared dinner together. Then I retreated to the bedroom. We were able to truly celebrate the following week, but just not the same.

I lost my sense of taste and smell. I am a foodie, and this was extremely frustrating to lose the enjoyment of a yummy treat or a tasty meal. I also love the smells of lotions and fresh scents. Nothing, nada, no smell, no taste, just meh.  I felt like a cow, just mindlessly grazing on lettuce to eat something.

I also was just not myself, reading text messages and not processing the words. Talking on the phone and not remembering much of the conversation. Around day 7 my brain started functioning better. However, then the cough and congestion began. Returning to work on day 11 when my quarantine was over, seemed impossible. The thought of having the energy to make it through the day was not happening. To think 11 days prior, I would be on my feet from 6:30am until 12:30am, it seemed like an eternity ago.

I did return to school on the 21^st. I had put my family, friends, work, my Etsy shop on hold and lived in the COVID vacuum for 2 full weeks. I put my Blog on the back burner for close to two months. My mind was not working in a way I felt like I could formulate the right things to say. However, now that I have kicked COVID to the curb, I am back, not better than before. In many ways, I am still not over COVID-19. My senses are still dull. My processing still slower. It’s odd but I am not the same person. Those two weeks of mostly solitude and illness took their toll on me mentally and physically.

However, what I did learn from COVID was to value time. Christmas was quiet this year, in the sense that it was just the six of us. However, a night with the six of us can get pretty rowdy, and that it was…late nights of games, music, and endless laughter.  We had no schedule, no hustle, just quality time. The time was endless, nowhere to be, nothing that had to be done. No expectations, no pressures.  Time…I do hope I can hold on to the lessons COVID taught me about time. It is what we make it and how we spend it, who spend it with, and what we do with it. However, as much as we may want to control time, it never stops ticking. Time keeps the same steady pace, day after day, month after month, year after year.

I am looking forward to sharing with all of you what 2021 will bring to my world and how I will be spending much of my time. Of course, as always, my family, friends, and students are always top on my list. But my journey will continue and following my dream of setting up the kbFAWN charity is taking off! We had our first visionary board meeting on January 3^rd. Just yesterday! I am excited to share with everyone our mission, the board members, and excited for all of you to follow us along this path!

Cheers to 2021 and time well spent!

 

"An inch of time is an inch of gold, but…

You can’t buy that inch of time with gold.

--Chinese Proverb